Romance scams are now frequently operated at industrial scale from scam compounds in Southeast Asia, where trafficked workers are forced to run the scams under threat of violence.
A stranger builds a relationship with you online — then asks for money.
Romance scams exploit the most human of needs: connection. A scammer creates a fake identity and initiates a relationship — romantic or deeply personal — through dating apps, social media, text messages, or even 'wrong number' texts. Over weeks or months, they build trust, affection, and emotional dependency. Then the requests for money begin. The relationship is entirely fabricated. The person on the other end may not even be a single individual — in many cases, victims are communicating with rotating shifts of workers in overseas scam operations.
How It Works
1
Contact is made through a dating app, social media platform, or seemingly accidental text message.
2
The scammer adopts a compelling persona — often a military officer, doctor, engineer, or businessperson working overseas — using stolen photos of real people.
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They invest heavily in emotional grooming: constant messages, terms of endearment, discussions about a shared future.
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A reason emerges why they can never video call or meet in person: they're deployed, on an oil rig, working in a remote area.
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Eventually a financial element is introduced: a medical emergency, a stuck shipment, travel expenses, or — in the 'pig butchering' variant — a cryptocurrency investment opportunity that appears to generate impressive returns.
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The victim sends money, often repeatedly. Each request comes with emotional pressure and a new crisis.
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In pig butchering schemes, the victim is directed to a fake investment platform showing fabricated gains. They deposit more and more, sometimes liquidating retirement accounts, before the platform and scammer vanish.
Tell-Tale Signs
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The relationship progresses unusually fast — declarations of love within days or weeks.
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They claim to be overseas and have elaborate reasons for never being able to video chat or meet.
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They ask you to move communication to a private messaging app like WhatsApp or Telegram.
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Their stories are detailed but never quite verifiable.
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Money eventually comes up — whether as a direct request or an 'incredible investment opportunity.'
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They discourage you from telling friends or family about the relationship.
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If it involves investing, the platform shows consistent gains but you cannot withdraw funds.
Protecting yourself and your loved ones from romance fraud.
Never send money to someone you haven't met in person.
This is the single most important rule. No matter how strong the emotional connection feels, no matter how convincing the story — if you have not met face-to-face, do not send money, gift cards, cryptocurrency, or financial information.
Verify their identity early.
Do a reverse image search on their profile photos using Google Images or TinEye. Scammers almost always use stolen photos. If the photos appear on other profiles or stock photo sites, it's a scam.
Insist on video calls.
A person who is genuinely interested in you will find a way to video chat. Repeated excuses — broken camera, bad connection, military restrictions — are a major red flag.
Talk about it with people you trust.
Scammers rely on isolating their victims. Tell a friend, family member, or counselor about the relationship. An outside perspective can see what emotional involvement obscures.
Be especially cautious of investment suggestions.
If an online romantic interest introduces a cryptocurrency platform or investment opportunity, treat it as a near-certain scam. Legitimate romantic partners do not steer you into investment platforms.
Establish a family protocol.
Families can agree on a rule: before anyone sends more than a set amount to someone they met online, they talk to a designated family member first. This isn't about control — it's a safety net.
Recognizing a romance scam while it's happening.
Many victims sense something is wrong but push the feeling aside because the emotional connection feels real. If any of the following apply, take them seriously.
Warning Signals
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You've sent money to someone you've never met in person — even once.
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The person always has a reason they can't meet or video chat.
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You've been asked to keep the relationship or financial transactions secret.
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Friends or family have expressed concern about the relationship.
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You've been directed to a cryptocurrency or investment platform by this person.
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You feel anxious, guilty, or confused about the financial requests but continue anyway.
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The 'investment platform' shows gains but won't let you withdraw money, or requires fees to withdraw.
What To Do Right Now
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Pause all financial transactions immediately. Do not send any more money.
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Do not confront the scammer — they may escalate pressure tactics or become threatening.
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Tell someone you trust what has been happening. Breaking the silence is the most important step.
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Save all messages, emails, transaction records, and screenshots before the scammer can delete them.
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Contact your bank or financial institution to flag recent transactions.
Recovering from a romance scam — financially and emotionally.
Romance scams cause devastating financial losses, but the emotional damage can be equally severe. Victims often experience grief, shame, depression, and a profound sense of betrayal. Recovery is possible, and it starts with understanding that the blame belongs entirely with the scammer.
Financial Recovery
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Contact your bank or credit union immediately. If money was sent via wire transfer, they may be able to initiate a recall.
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If you paid with gift cards, contact the gift card company with the card numbers and receipts.
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If cryptocurrency was involved, report to the exchange and save all transaction hashes and wallet addresses.
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File a report with the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) at ic3.gov — this is critical for any potential fund recovery.
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Report to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov.
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Contact your state attorney general's office.
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If you shared personal information (SSN, bank accounts), place fraud alerts on your credit reports with all three bureaus.
Emotional Recovery
Understand that romance scams are sophisticated, psychologically engineered crimes. Being victimized is not a reflection of intelligence or judgment.
The grief you feel is real — you lost a relationship that felt genuine, even though it was fabricated. Allow yourself to process that loss.
Consider speaking with a therapist or counselor who understands fraud victimization.
Connect with support communities. AARP's Fraud Helpline (877-908-3360) offers peer support.
Sharing your story — when you're ready — can help others avoid the same trap and can be part of your own healing.
From the Archive
4,783 articles about romance scam
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▶ VIDEO
NBC New York
· 2024-02-16
The FBI issued a warning about online romance scams, reporting that in 2022 alone it received 19,000 complaints totaling $740 million in losses. Scammers troll social media and dating sites to build trust with victims before fabricating emergencies to solicit money, with seniors being of particular concern due to isolation and fixed incomes. The FBI recommends limiting personal information shared online, using established dating platforms, and being cautious of matches who avoid meeting in person or pressure you to communicate exclusively online.
▶ VIDEO
WCNC
· 2024-02-17
A Hickory, North Carolina woman fell victim to a romance scam in 2022 after being contacted by a man posing as someone in Africa on LinkedIn, who gradually built trust through emotional manipulation before requesting money for medical expenses. North Carolina ranks ninth nationally for romance scams, with 4,422 victims losing $18 million in 2022, while Americans overall lost over $1 billion to such schemes that year, with scammers increasingly using AI, deepfakes, and voice cloning to deceive victims.
▶ VIDEO
KVUE
· 2024-02-19
Romance scams typically begin online through dating platforms, social media, or messaging apps, with scammers' goal being financial gain. Red flags include declarations of love very quickly, elaborate backstories (such as working in oil/gas or military deployment) to explain communication gaps, and reluctance to video chat; scammers may spend months or even years building trust before requesting money. People should recognize these warning signs early to avoid becoming victims of these prevalent scams.
▶ VIDEO
LastWeekTonight
· 2024-02-29
**Pig Butchering Scams Overview**
"Pig Butchering" is a romance/investment scam that typically begins with unsolicited text messages appearing to be sent to the wrong person, establishing false familiarity and trust. Scammers then gradually build relationships with victims and persuade them to invest money in fraudulent cryptocurrency or trading schemes, often resulting in significant financial losses. The scam gets its name from the process of cultivating ("fattening") victims before extracting ("butchering") their money.
▶ VIDEO
KFYR-TV
· 2024-02-29
An AARP North Dakota volunteer discusses romance scams and their warning signs, noting that while romance scams affect people of all ages, older adults—particularly those over 70—suffer the largest monetary losses because they typically have greater savings accumulated over their working years. The primary red flag for romance scams is when an unknown person quickly asks for money, such as requesting payment for gift cards or other financial transfers.
▶ VIDEO
WHNT News 19
· 2024-03-02
**Romance Scams: Protection Advice**
Romance scams, where online dating contacts request money, gift cards, or wire transfers, are on the rise according to the Better Business Bureau, with median losses increasing from $900 in 2021 to higher amounts by 2022. Scammers use emotional manipulation tactics like "love bombing" followed by fabricated emergencies (health issues, family deaths) to pressure victims into sending money, and elderly individuals should be particularly cautious. To protect yourself, avoid sending money through gift cards or wire transfers, never share credit card or banking information, and be skeptical of online contacts who quickly request financial assistance.
▶ VIDEO
8 News Now — Las Vegas
· 2024-03-01
Multiple women have accused Las Vegas reality TV star Liel Birch (also known as "Mocha Blast") of romance scamming them after initiating contact via Facebook with charming messages and promises of monogamous relationships. Birch, who appeared on the show "Life After Lockup," allegedly deceived these women out of money; the investigation emerged following a 2023 incident in which he fatally shot a man during a live YouTube interview, which prosecutors ruled self-defense in a love triangle dispute.
▶ VIDEO
WION
· 2024-03-02
Multiple women have fallen victim to Facebook dating scams using the stolen identity of Danish doctor Christian Bing, including a 70-year-old woman from rural Missouri and a Ukrainian woman who left her home after being targeted. Scammers create fake profiles impersonating Bing across social media platforms and dating apps, and the real Bing has accused Meta of failing to remove these fraudulent accounts and called for stronger verification methods to prevent identity theft-based romance fraud.
▶ VIDEO
CityNews
· 2024-03-05
Fraudulent activity in Canada increased 133% in 2023, with common scams including Interac e-Transfer fraud, job scams, fake credit card transaction calls, and fraudulent Canada Post delivery messages that are becoming increasingly sophisticated. Those aged 18-24 are more vulnerable to online scams, while people over 45 are more susceptible to email and phone call fraud, with women reporting scams more frequently than men. The scams vary seasonally, with fraudsters adapting their tactics throughout the year.
▶ VIDEO
ABC11
· 2024-03-08
Scammers are stealing photographs and videos of U.S. military service members to create fake online dating profiles and romance scam victims out of thousands of dollars. An Air Force flight chief reports being contacted by one to three women weekly who believed they were in romantic relationships with him, when criminals were actually impersonating him using his stolen images and fabricated backstories about military service and family hardship. The affected service members say they are unable to stop scammers from repeatedly using their identities despite efforts to report the fraud.